today is a holiday, just changing agenda from supervising to valuating or checking students answers. is it easy? absolutely not. just imagine that someday you studied something in your school or campus, you have to write what you learnt right? obviously no one wants to lose what they got. so someday you are going to reopen and read the things that you wrote. and guess what you say? “how bad is this! what did I write?” “oh please, I cant even read my own written!” and many other reasons. and now image that thing happen to you and the written is absolutely is not your written. need deep thinking to remind your own written, and what else kind of thinking that you need to understand others written?

I lernt something good today, whatever your class, whatever your condition, whatever your deficiency, whatever bla and bla and the bla. you have to know this, there is a great factor that gives a great impact to our struggle, this is the best weapon of every moeslim, its prayer (doa). It can turns the impossible to possible. invisible to visible. like what just happen today, my hands move itself to give a good value to some student and for others I still cant do that. something very substantial moves my hand to do that. and also for the question that is aimed to us “when will you get married?” we still dont know, but something very strong in my heart just says ” no need to worry, you keep struggling and praying” and “the result will never betray the effort” just keep holding on, stay strong, we`re gonna make it true. every single dream.

yesterday there was a little conflict between me and my someone special. actually we have an initial it is A&A or known as double A. our special day is 17th date each month. she is really really special for me. even she thought I never think or remember her. in fact, her shadow never leave my brain. I always pray for our ease. to reach our dreams, holding hands together to face this cruel world after married. and the conflict ended with telling her that I love her. and she did the same. She is Saffanah Az Zahra. my someone special. who has the important role to improve myself. who cheers me up when Iam down. the great factor that makes me happy all the time, who tells me to always smile. who makes me able to keep my spirits while doing everyting to prepare myself. all of preparation that Iam still working on it. studying, teaching, colleging, serving my boarding school. Iam not a kind of perfect person, but one thing that I always avoid to do one thing that I never want to do, it is – disappoint someone I love- if you read this my dear, no need to worry. I`ll do all my best.

Whatever you have, even for simple thing that you feel it is really small. it may be very special for someone else. it maybe just a small thing but might change something for good. it could go away and you feel it will return but sometimes it never come back. like what happen today, Iam supervising student. this is really just a simple thing, I supervise them, make sure that theres no someone cheating and all of them answer the test by their own learning and potency. and actually this is not simple as we see, it is a big important thing, major factor to independence, honesty. instead of study evaluation, this exam more inclined to self development and forming personal of each student. actually by supervising them I get something, I used to think that they are able to do everything by themselves. but its not, absolutely wrong they need attention, supervision, and briefing. dont you just let them go as they want, even they cannot see you keep watching them!

the thing that Iam afraid of and as other people do. is losing something. refer to their thoughts they dont get something for free. work. think. they have to do something to fulfill their life needs. and what they have are belong to them. so then they will unwilling to help others. as they say “why should I give them? I worked for this. why dont they just go to work to get that?” this wrong behavior is not strange and also not new. we can find much of that in our “civilized people” an untruth well-known behavior. begins from our planet mechanism leads into wrong things and changed things from what they really are. world rules are wrong. people live to help each other. they cant live alone. even cat get fish they will bring it and give it to their kitten, and will let other cat eat that. is not human must be better than animal? human can reason and animal only have instinct. embarrassing.

as you sow,so shall you reap.

when you give your wealth instead of diminish, it will be increased. much and much more than what you gave.

actually I just learnt this, knew just know but i dont want to lose my new vocabs so Iam going to write this cause this is really good and helpful specially for myself.

resolution is a promise that you make for yourself to change a bad behavior or accomplish a goal.

but this resolution is not just a new year`s resolution. what I need is actually for a long time journey wich it means that resolution will change and make a better of me (I hope) and writing this is one of my resolutions i have to keep writing. this is a promise. Iam running out of time. soon I will face the outside world that I never go there alone before. therefore learning language as one of my preparations to puch this world. I expect that I can do best. the next resolutions will join later i still figure it out.

what would you do when you face two different things? have to decide one or another. wich you dont want to disappoint at all. well, if you choose one for another, that one (the one you dont choose) will blame you and get mad on you. so if you choose the other one this is gonna say you have a poor choice. cannot make a decision between the importat thing and not important. but for me both are important. they have their own role and position that I cant compare them they are balanced. people have choices. people decide. to live is to choose. dont just say “I did this”, “I have done this” dont you know? every people act! and their actions are not same! the have their quantity and ways! you cannot always see and feel what they sacrifice! better me to be silenced and keep all the things deep in my heart cause, whatever I do will never be right!

have dreams. struggling to reach it. me too.

starting today, whatever they say and whatever happen. I`m gonna start to write an essay, and maybe two. enhance my vocabs.

Japan and United Kingdom, I`am coming

A few days ago I went far, far away just to clam my heart and in order to find that piece going to my friend`s rented house will be the best choice to do. Yes it was a very long journey, took several hours of driving. what do you think? Did I travel alone or someone accompany me to do that? no bro, I just do all of that journey alone. it just me, my music, and google maps. there is also one thing that is hard to happen. for those few days I only spent 100 thousand rupiahs. it is not a trip to ordinary city. it was a big city and famous especially in Indonesia. it was Jogja city. Jogja where a lot of my memories are stuck there, the place where people say that every corner is a memory. some people maybe will suppose that the travel and the jorney is about to get everything, spend the time as much as he can in the place where he is going. but, I don`t. to savour the street smell, face the pollution immidiately, see how green our earth is, touch the beauty of our land. not all enjoment you can enjoy at the end. enjoy the ride and you will find the ultimate pleasure at the end. my first ride to be thousand enjoyable unforgettable rides.